Monday, December 13, 2010

Thoughts on Marriage...

While Steve, Soph and I were living in Utah it dawned on me that we were living my dream. I felt like Steve's teaching at the high school was a service calling, I was involved with a few non-profits in the community and volunteering at Soph's school and Sophie had the experience of being a minority and learning what all of that entailed. I also remember realizing that it probably wasn't as fulfilling for Steve as it was for me.

Steve loved his job teaching in Utah, but I knew there was a part of him that wanted to be back in a college setting. I see how happy he is now and again, I think he was happy in Utah, but it's a different type of fulfillment for him here, another challenge.

What do you do when one spouse wants to be in one geographical location and one needs to be in another? I think both Steve and I will carry Utah in our hearts, but he has adapted to our lives in Michigan, because he has found fulfillment. I know I can too, but it makes me think of my friends who have dealt with this - choosing to live in one spouse's preferred town/state/country.

Marriage is a partnership that spans many years, which means it will inevitably bring changes to both people and sometimes those changes just don't match up. I can see how life would be simpler in many ways if I just sought my own fulfillment, lived where I wanted to live, did what I wanted to do, but life isn't about easy and marriage isn't either - it's about a commitment to something that is continually growing - just as one does in life.


  1. Fulfilling a dream is up to the dreamer.
    A successful marriage and happiness are also in your hands.

    Geography is only a teeny tiny portion of it. In order for a dream, successful marriage and happiness to be fulfilled, (YOU), family, hard work, the aligned stars and other supporting ingredients HAVE to factor in.

    As you work for your goals, every one of these things will fall into place and your new reality will become your fulfilled dreams :)

  2. I agree Margaret with what you've stated - thank you for the reminder!!