Sunday, February 13, 2011

Thoughts Near the Big V-Day

Valentine's Day is tomorrow and I admit, I love Valentine's Day. I'm a sucker for the red hearts, the chocolates, the flowers and the cheesy sentiments delivered by greeting cards. Love it.

I've been thinking about something, sort of related to Valentine's Day - and no, not a personal experience:

If your spouse/significant other confessed to an infidelity 5 years ago, how do you think you would react? I'm trying to mull this over in my own brain and of course, nobody really knows what they would do until the situation arises, but it seems there is a difference between a confession of infidelity in recent time versus one that took place at a different point in your relationship.

I was of the camp that always said I could never be married to someone who was unfaithful, until I had a child. I then felt like maybe it wasn't a black and white issue. I have not dealt with this, so I do not know and for those who have dealt with this, I apologize if this post seems at all flippant, it is not intended to be.


  1. Tod and I had a big conversation about this prior to the adoption of the kids. We made a pact to work through anything that came our way because with the adoption of Anna and Eli, it suddenly wasn't all about us anymore.
    The stakes are higher when you have kids, that's for sure.
    I hope this gave some insight, wondering what the genesis for this post was.

  2. It would be over. I could not get past it. Our life would be hell together after. It would be the most loving thing for me, him and my boys to end it and try to be friendly for the sake of the boys.

  3. Tom - not sure what brought this thought into my head (also not sure why I've been singing Wham's "Everything She Wants" the past week...perhaps they both stem from the same place?). Could be that being back in Michigan I realize how very different our lives are now compared to 5 1/2 years ago in Ann Arbor - when we were so stressed, I could see something like this happening. No revelations about to emerge though :) Also, seeing how many divorces there are in Jackson - ok, worldwide, and thinking what would push me to that decision in this marriage.

    Jenn - I agree, though it must be so, so very hard to move on from something like that.

    Linda - you seem quite certain on this. Again, I have no true idea how I would react, it certainly is a cut and dry situation for many, I think.